You’re Not Alone! Building a Special Needs Support System

Everybody knows about Girl Math, Boy Math, Mom Math, etc… Have you ever done Special Needs Math? I did and found that Cole has had a MINIMUM of 140+ appointments since he was 3 months old, not including 3-4 days of therapy a week for 2 years. If I multiply that by the distances to each clinic and divide it all by the number of months in Cole’s age, then move a decimal point over it roughly equals 100% of I can’t do this on my own!

I’d say nobody can do this alone, but the reality is there are caregivers out there who don’t have a support system in place, which makes everything even harder than it already is when dealing with special needs. I’m blessed to have a wonderful community that embraces Cole and helps us along the way. Not everyone is so lucky.

For those who are struggling to form a circle of people around you and your child, here are some helpful tips to point you in the right direction.

Who To Lean On

1. The people you already know you can count on. Friends and family, but not necessarily the obvious ones. Lean on those who text and ask if you’ve eaten or how your kid’s math test went. The ones who ask about Jimmy’s appointment or how Sara’s therapy is going. Maybe that’s putting it too simply. The point is to find the people in your life who aren’t feigning concern – the ones who genuinely care. Unfortunately, this is where support systems fail for many caregivers; they don’t realize there are other options.
2. Nobody wants to be told to seek professional help, but in this case, it’s one of the smartest things you can do for your kid and yourself. What professionals, you ask? Your kid’s doctors, therapists, aides, teachers, care managers, or any other support providers. They’re there and get paid to be utilized in more ways than just working with your kid. They often have access to more resources than your average Joe and can provide some respite when the tides are high.
3. If you look closely, support is only one click away. In today’s age of technology, folks can band together to create support communities that span the entire globe. I created a special needs support page for parents and caregivers here in Baldwin County, AL. Now, I’m getting up there at the ripe old age of 34, so Facebook is my go-to social media. But if you search on whatever platform you prefer, you will find others in a similar boat as you. With a little effort, you can find the group that will crawl in your boat with you so y’all can paddle yourselves back to shore. Typically, these groups have a super-sleuth who can help you find the resources you need to provide some relief as well.

My Extra Special Support System

Perhaps I’m more blessed than most; I’ve never had to do this alone. I have an amazing husband, parents, siblings, and new and old friends who all come in clutch when I need them.

But amidst them all, I have y’all – the readers. The people who have supported us from near and far for 8 years now. The ones who tell me to keep going when I feel like giving up or provide a new perspective when I’m stuck in my own head. The hundreds of y’all that just don’t know how much a simple reaction or comment on a post means. The people who read my writing provide me an outlet to get the thoughts out of my head and the feelings off my chest.

Y’all give me another level of meaning by allowing me to do what I love to do: write. I’m more grateful than I can ever say, and I struggle to find the words to tell you all how much it means to me. Finding an audience to write for has been life-changing for me, and I hope you all stick around for a very long time.

Other Special Needs Resources & Info

No matter how you frame it, parenting a child with special needs is hard. Like, really hard. You shouldn’t have to do it alone. Please don’t be afraid to reach out for help.

There are local, state, governmental, and private resources out there aimed at providing respite to special needs caregivers. The online support groups I mentioned are always well-versed in these resources, but with a little research, you could find them too.

In the future, I’ll do a full post on the best websites to find resources; a quick Google search can be informative but overwhelming. Here are a few of my favorites:

• Council for Excellent Children: information & resources about Special Education
• Parent to Parent USA: offers support to parents of special needs
• Possibilities: publication of financial resources for parents

If there are any special websites you know of, add them to the comments below so we can share these resources with everyone.

Parts of this journey will always be hard. But there are ways that we can alleviate the difficulty and make parts of it a little easier. Building a special needs support system is one of the biggest things to do.

Who do you include in your support system? Let’s talk about it in the comments below. And, as always, remember to give yourself some grace today; you’re doing an amazing job.